Video instructions and help with filling out and completing Fill Form 2220 Chooses

Instructions and Help about Fill Form 2220 Chooses

I've been thinking about something that connects all of us our stories of love and even though each of our stories might vary we pretty much all have some story to tell I have a love story - it starts something like this once upon a time my husband used to be my girlfriend is everybody following me here you got that let me clarify when I first met my husband he was a she in physical form anyway my husband was born transgender I was born cisgender in organic chemistry terms sis means on the same side as in the chemical bond trans means on the opposite side so I identify as a cisgendered female because my biological sex and my gender identity are a match for me but my partner's original biological sex of female and his own gender identity of male they were not a match for him and after three years of being together she came to me and she told me she needed to transition to male and over the next ten years she became he through hormones surgeries and lots and lots of therapy but all along our love evolved it's pretty wild being with someone who is physically morphing from female to male right before your very eyes especially since she was my first experience being with a female bodied person I remember the first time I saw her I remember thinking oh my god it's you the first time we kissed something connected so deeply inside of me she felt like my home we really related to each other as a Butch and femme couple our connection it was immediate and strong I couldn't ignore it and I'm sure some of you here can relate to that feeling that's when she told me she was transgender and every time I was with her I was learning more about myself it's that kind of opening of the soul that allows you to see deeper inside of yourself it might be the riskiest behavior I've ever evolved myself in sort of like this discovery of self through being vulnerable with another person so she was transgender and she needed to transition it's a good thing though that I was really as naive as I was back then I admit it because if somebody could have told me back then just how much she would change and how long and chaotic that changing would be I seriously think I might have run the other way after all I'm gonna tell ya he went through male puberty at the age of 40 that's the truth there was a period of time where he got along better with my 18 year old son that I think he did with me but now I'm really happy that I never left and here's why I fell in love with her but I grew in love with him and as he was transitioning I was making transforming myself as well I was learning to see the intangible places inside of this person that I loved I'm still in love with the idea of her the person who he once was the memory of him but more importantly I think the memory of who I once was with her what I hope you can take away from my love story today is that our love evolved and adapted to accommodate changes Reese changed and I responded by making changes in myself and you know change is really just change we don't always have to define it as being good or bad I want to be with him no matter what body he inhabits who cares actually way more attracted to him now that he feels whole in himself to me that's really sexy there's no limits to where that love can lead love shows us and there's no limit to that really we're never in a place of permanence in our growth because we keep picking up the pieces of our past relationship it's sort of putting them back together in some sort of different form and I think we all do this if we find ourselves in a relationship grossing the longevity we experience changes physical emotional psychological even geographical if we make a decision to end it with someone just because they gain a few pounds or they get older or even if they do change their sex we could be missing out on the amazing places that that love could take us my partner's process has been a beautiful thing for me to be a part of he faced every single challenge with the belief that he would heal quickly and become more whole in himself after all most of us don't require cultural marginalization and multiple surgeries paid for out of our own pockets to achieve this goal for ourselves an every day of his transition I checked in with myself I asked me how you do it with all these changes and you know some days were a lot harder than others like when I was watching my own queer identity sort of receding back into that really dark proverbial closet or when he was suffering so much physical pain it had me crying more than he was but mostly we just move forward together we were living our lives in the midst of change we all do this I challenge those of you who are in a relationship right now to think about where that love began is your partner different than when you first met them their age do they have the same hopes and dreams as when you first met has anybody noticing silver hair shining through up here how about these bodies any body here changing so we asked one another can you expand your feelings for me to hold me and all the changes that life might bring me and sometimes the answer is gonna be no sometimes love doesn't